Stay Gold: Advice for Seniors from College Counseling

There are so many reasons to love the Olympics. As a vexillophile, I’m in it for the flags. But whether for the joy of seeing nations come together, sartorial appreciation of snazzy warm up suits, or to marvel at the strength and talent of these seemingly superhuman athletes, people from around the globe turned their attention to Paris for a few short weeks this summer.

And yet, I always find the Olympics bittersweet. For the hundreds of athletes who proudly march in the opening ceremonies, only a tiny number will grace the top of a podium. Are they no less Olympians? Countless individuals who have devoted themselves to their sport, each with their own journey of hard work, commitment, and resilience. Don’t they deserve our respect and admiration? There are athletes from countries embroiled in wars and political unrest, teams who have trained without even a fraction of the resources of other nations, and competitors who take the field burdened by the pain of personal tragedy. A gold medal may recognize athletic achievement but success and triumph are defined by the individual.

One of the most rewarding parts of my work supporting students in the college process is getting to know the remarkable people they are and helping them to communicate their goals, interests, and personality through their applications. Admissions offices use a process known as holistic review, meaning they take into consideration not just what a student has accomplished academically but who they are and what they have experienced. They take time to understand applicants in the unique context of their school, family, and communities. After all, universities do not build their classes with numbers on a page but whole people whose perspectives and talents will enhance and enrich their community and classrooms. Despite reminding my students of this, I sometimes find them losing sight of all they have to offer and what makes them who they are. Message boards, social media algorithms, and well-intentioned individuals bombard them with misinformation about what colleges value or expect, and they become distracted comparing themselves to others or an invented notion of the “ideal applicant.” 

In actuality, the journey to college is as individual as each student themselves, from the universities they choose to apply to to the stories that their applications tell. When we begin working together, I encourage my students to clear their minds of everything they think they know about colleges and focus instead on themselves. What are their personal goals and priorities? What experiences do they value? What does community mean to them? What brings out their best self? Their answers and reflections become our lodestone in this process.  Together we explore, looking to see how well different schools fit to them, not the other way around. 

During our talks, students sometimes share their anxiety that what they want for themselves differs from what they believe others want for them, worried that it might disappoint people if they say they are eschewing a beloved alma mater or career path. Having these conversations with loved ones may be intimidating, but they are also rewarding. Open communication can transform a student from cautious to confident and galvanize this experience for the whole family.

As an educator, it is truly affirming when a young person informs me that a once coveted university does not align with their priorities and they have chosen not to apply. At that moment I feel them taking ownership of this process; they know that this is their journey and no one else's. They have found their gold. 

Seniors, the next few months will be a marathon, but keep in mind that although you are all running this race, it is not against one another. Remember the Shine Theory championed by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman: “I don’t shine if you don’t shine.” So, be generous with your love and support. Be proud of yourselves and one another. Straighten each other’s crowns. Go for YOUR gold and you will all shine.

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please visit the College Counseling webpage.